Since Bebo and I have recently gone through trying to give our cats pills, we thought this was pretty funny.  Enjoy.

 

1. Pick up the cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby.  Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while sliding pill in right hand.  As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth.  Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from under chair.  Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
3. Retrieve cat from bedroom and throw soggy pill away.
4. Take a new pill from foil wrap. Cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand.  Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger.  Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse in from garden.
6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between the knees.  Holding front and rear paws ignore low growls emitted by cat.  Get spouse to hold cat’s head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat’s throat vigorously.
7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap.  Make a note to buy a new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines from hearth and set aside for gluing later.
8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with its head just visible from beneath spouse’s armpit.  Put pill in end of drinking straw, force cat’s mouth open with pencil and blow down straw.
9. Check label to make sure that pill is not harmful to humans.  Drink glass of water to take taste away.  Apply band-aid to spouse’s forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10. Retrieve cat from neighbor’s shed   Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing.  Force mouth open with spoon, flick pill down throat with elastic band.
11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges.  Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for last tetanus shot.   Throw t-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
12. Call the fire department to retrieve cat from tree across the road.  Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat.  Take last pill from foil wrap.
13. Tie cat’s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining room table.  Find heavy duty pruning gloves from garage.  Force cat’s mouth open with small trowel.  Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak.   Hold head vertically and pour ½ pint of water down throat to wash pill down.
14. Get spouse to drive you to emergency room.  Sit quietly while doctor stitches finger and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye.  Stop by furniture store on the way home and order a new table.
15. Arrange for vet to make house call.

 

Eve, that is so funny! And worst of all, it's so close to the truth.

Hey, and I'm first to comment.

Have a good Saturday.

Could it be because it is close to 3:30 p.m. over there? No good Saturday - I work today, remember? And yes, we have destroyed quite a few things trying to give the cats medicine. Ask Bebo about the amoxicilin liquid I hope you've had a good day.

I've seen this one before. It's so cute---and true!

Yes, I love it too - which is why I went googling to find it.

Ah, the memories of having cats! And people wonder why I don't any more? Dogs are so much easier. Put it in food, and they'll eat anything.

LOL--I remember the days of our cat Moggy. She was half feral when my parents found her in the shed. Black and white and skinny--she lived till she was 18 and hated the vets with a passion that bordered on madness. :o

I do love my dogs LOL!!

True.

Yeah, but dogs are soooo easy. Where's the fun?
Very true Christa!

My friend's, Ronnie, husband, Troy, has been staying with me for about 4 weeks. Both Ronnie and Troy are long distance truck drivers and don't have a permanent address right know. Every week Troy's boss has some excuse of why the truck isn't ready. One week his boss was getting all the paperwork together to see if he could get financing. The following week he called to say he got the financing. Last week he was waiting for some paperwork about the financing. Hopefully next week everything will be straightened out and they just have to get the truck and plate it. Eve you are not only before Jill in the blogs but my friend asked me if I ever wanted to go on a run with her and to where and I said Texas. (Jill has too much snow) There is also a 6 month old Chiuaua(sp)here and he is teething. He likes the grape flavoured liquid childens Tylenol Troy gives him for his fever. And no need to take him for a walk outside, he is trained.

Snort--easy!!

Christa - you would be very welcome here!
Toni -

Eve, that was hilarious! And brought back memories...

I love it! So true ...

OMG, too funny! WHY is it so hard to give a pill to a cat? If that isn't bad enough, my baby Layla, tries to tear me to pieces when I clip her claws!

Olga and Siobhan - you should have seen us trying to give Buster (Bebo's Cat) Amoxicilin liquid drops - can we say pink stuff everywhere?
Brandy - because "they" haven't chosen to do it - we need their permission and "they" aren't giving it.

Well I'm finally here & I have to say, we may never get the amoxicillin stains off the walls, the floor, my comforter.... Egads I've never witnessed girations like that cat did!!!

And the REASON I'm so late today is that I started reading Jill's Room Service this morning & I literally only put it down long enough to pee, then back to the book (except one VERY short break to deal w/ Mom's lunch). Yes, I'm finished. And now, dammit, I'm HUNGRY. Whew!!! Time for a shower....

It's about time - and there's a nick in the cover!!!

It's even harder to give medicine to an iguana. And, btw, when they bite into your finger it sounds just like they are biting into a carrot.

Ouch
Okay folks, I'm up way too late (mom in 5 hours). Nighty, night.

Oh, Eve, I showed this to my Dh and he laughed so hard his eyes teared up!

I'm glad he enjoyed it.

I had my technique down. I put him on the counter and backed him into the cradle of my arm, which wrapped around the around and under his chin, where I pinched his mouth open and poked the pill down his throat. Then I held it shut and massaged the throat and listened for the inevitable gulp. I only ever lost one pill. Of course I am a man and showed no compassion or mercy about it.

Oh, and I'm jacked for Aikman, but Irvin is getting the shaft.

In all honesty - and Bebo will back me up on this - I don't have any trouble giving pills to the cats. But that amoxicilin liquid is another thing.

I think it's a the drug charges. I'm glad that Wright finally made it.

sadly I was thinking you could change that from cats to kids and it all pretty much applies - the last time I took the 7-y-o to the doc it took two nurses to hold him down to get a throat swab - he did indeed have strep that time - sheesh!

Now I have had problems giving medicine to children - I believe it took two people to hold him down.

If anyone was listening just now, they must have thought I was insane. Boy, did I need a good laugh. I've really had a lousy few days. No joy in this home.

But now I'm feeling much better thanks to giving cats medicine. Yep, I've known kids like that, too. Actually, my grandfather's second wife, after my grandmother died, always had a terrible time getting pills down and in the last years of her life she had to take plenty.

I can take three or four at a time as long as they're not the kind that dissolve on the way down. Then I can definitely understand my "aunt". Several times I've almost choked, so I can understand the cats. It's definitely a horrible feeling and very embarrassing if it happens when you're having dinner at somebody's house. It was the malaria vaccine pills that time. I took my last ones today. Finally.

I'm glad it gave you a laugh!

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